


Shelter

by BatmanWhoLaughss



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Dorks in Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fear, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Kanan Jarrus Has PTSD, Kanan Jarrus Needs a Hug, Kanan has a fear of storms, Post-Star Wars: A New Dawn, Pre-Canon, Pre-Star Wars: Rebels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 15:28:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29048412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BatmanWhoLaughss/pseuds/BatmanWhoLaughss
Summary: He knows it’s not rational to still be so afraid after all these years, but when he checked the navicomputer data and readPlanet’s Dominant Weather Pattern: Severe Thunderstorms, he froze.----How on earth was he supposed to explain his secret? How could he spell out every detail of the nights spent curled up on the street, trying desperately to sleep as the rain fell, and as thunder boomed all around him? How was he supposed to tell her that even after everything he’s been through, everything he’s seen, he’s still absolutely terrified of storms?
Relationships: Kanan Jarrus/Hera Syndulla
Comments: 10
Kudos: 54





	Shelter

**Author's Note:**

> i have a headcanon that kanan is terrified of storms because they remind him of the time he spent living on the street after the purge, so I wrote it down. these two are in love and im in love with their love.
> 
> Addendum 2/17/21: it seems that I’m not the first to hc this- seems I had a similar idea to this fic by rebelsfromstars from 2018: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15454965
> 
> So go check that one out too!!!

Of all the planets to crash on, it had to be  _ this one _ . 

They’re parked on one of the moons of Corellia, and the minute Kanan realized they were going to be here for a while while they finished repairs to the Ghost, the barely-restrained panic began to set in. 

He  _ knows _ it’s not rational to still be so afraid after all these years, but when he checked the navicomputer data and read  _ Planet’s Dominant Weather Pattern: Severe Thunderstorms _ , he froze. Something gripped his heart like a vice, and it was all he could do to keep his breathing even. 

Hera didn’t notice, of course. She was too busy grumbling about the damage to her ship, and Kanan desperately tried to hide his growing fear from her before she asked him what was wrong. How on earth was he supposed to explain his secret? How could he spell out every detail of the nights spent curled up on the street, trying desperately to sleep as the rain fell, and as thunder boomed all around him? How was he supposed to tell her that even after everything he’s been through, everything he’s seen, he’s still absolutely  _ terrified _ of storms?

They’ve been here a day so far, he’s managed to keep his feelings in check. He caught Hera watching him with a concerned expression a couple of times, but so far he’s managed to avoid the subject. When she asked him if he was alright, he just shrugged, muttering that he was tired. And he’s been trying to ignore the heavy sounds of rainfall hitting the hull, hiding in his room and stubbornly trying to meditate. 

But when he can’t hide anymore, he makes his way to the galley, in search of caf and something to eat. When he gets there, he can’t help but notice that Hera’s already sitting in the small dejarik booth and nursing a mug of her own. She smiles at him when he enters, and he nods in greeting. He doesn’t trust his voice yet, so he busies himself with the caf maker in silence. 

He stays there until he hears footsteps coming towards him, feels Hera’s arms wind around his waist and her chest pressed against his back. She presses her lips against the back of his shoulder, and he can feel it even through the thin material of his shirt. 

He sighs, his hand reaching to cover her own and a small smile spreading across his face in spite of himself. It makes the steady  _ pitter-patter _ of the heavy rainfall fade to the back of his mind for a moment. 

“You okay?” she asks. 

Inwardly, Kanan cringes. Hera could  _ always _ see right through him, no matter what he tried to hide from her. Still, he doesn’t want to tell her. It’ll only make her worry; they’ll be off this rock tomorrow anyway. “I’ll be fine. Just a rough couple days.” 

“Mmm,” Hera hums, leaning up to press a kiss to his cheek. “Repairs are almost done. We should be able to get moving as soon as the storm lifts tomorrow.” 

_ Tomorrow. Storms here go on for an entire day?  _ He knows she can feel the way his body tenses at the thought. He can feel the spike in her concern, as she twists him to face her.

She’s frowning at him now. “You sure you’re alright?”

Kanan nods. “Yeah, I’m–”

Before he can finish, a huge  _ crash _ sounds from outside the Ghost– a clap of thunder so violent that he immediately goes rigid all over. The second  _ boom _ makes him drop to the floor before he can blink, curling his knees to his chest as his whole body trembles. It’s like a reflex, the way he reacts, like he’s right back on the streets of Kaller shivering behind a dumpster in the pouring rain. 

It’s a few moments before he comes back to himself, and he registers Hera running a hand through his loose hair. 

“–an,  _ Kanan _ , it’s alright. Come back to me, love.” 

He opens his eyes, meeting hers with his fearful ones. “Sorry,” he whispers. He’s still shaking, as another clap of thunder sounds from outside. 

But Hera smiles. “Don’t apologize, you idiot.” One of her hands twines with his as the other keeps up a steady rhythm in his hair. “Why didn’t you tell me you’re afraid of storms?” 

Kanan shakes his head. “Stupid thing to be scared of,” he mutters, his voice still quiet. “And Jedi aren’t supposed to be afraid.”

Her smile falls, and he can see the sympathy on her face. He’s still curled up on the floor, but his shaking is less violent. The rain is crashing against the hull, and he screws his eyes shut, trying to block it out. 

Hera doesn’t miss a beat though, shifting to sit next to him and pulling him down to her. His legs are still curled inwards, but he shifts so that his head rests in her lap as her hand keeps carding through his hair. He can’t help but sigh, burrowing further towards her so that his face is practically buried in her stomach. 

They’re silent for a few minutes, except for the sound of the rain. The panic is less suffocating now, and he can’t help but think about how ridiculous this is. They’re sitting on the cool floor of the galley, two grown adults trapped here because he can’t pull himself together. Hera seems to guess where his thoughts are heading, because she leans down to press her lips to his forehead as she shakes her head. Gradually, his shaking starts to ebb, as the warmth from Hera’s body slowly starts to spread to his. 

Finally, he sighs. “Hera, I-”

“Shhh.” The hand that’s still tangled with his squeezes. “It’s okay. Just try and relax.”

Another minute of silence passes before Hera brings their joined hands upwards, pressing a kiss to the back of his hand. “Did you know I’m terrified of being underground?”

Kanan can’t help but raise an eyebrow, shifting so that he’s lying on his back. “What?” He stares up at her as she gives him another small smile. 

“Yup,” she says, laughing. “It scares the hell out of me, more than anything else. Never really figured out why, but I start breathing funny if I so much as step in a ditch.” 

_ Because you’re a pilot. Because you live in the sky, so being trapped like that would be hell.  _ But he doesn’t say that, because his voice still doesn’t want to cooperate. “You seem like you’re not afraid of anything,” he says instead. It’s the truth; she’s the strongest person he’s ever met, and even though they’ve seen each other at their worst by now, he still can’t see her as anything but confident.

Hera laughs again. “Also bugs. I can’t  _ stand _ bugs.”

That one makes him laugh. “They’re lousy.”

“Everybody’s afraid of something, love.” Another press of her lips against his forehead.

Then another loud  _ boom _ sounds from outside the Ghost and his whole body flinches. He screws his eyes shut, and it’s not until he hears Hera whispering a soft  _ it’s okay _ that he opens them again. 

Kanan lets out a shaky sigh as he grips her hand tighter. “I lived on the streets for a few weeks, after the Purge,” he whispers. “I hid in back alleys and somehow survived on scraps until Kasmir found me. And it stormed practically every day.” 

“I’m sorry,” she says.

“Being outside like that, nothing between me and the elements… I guess it stuck with me.” He curls onto his side again, pressing his face into her stomach and wrapping an arm around her waist. It’s an awkward position, but if she minds, she doesn’t say anything. She just stays there, letting him burrow in closer. 

“It’s okay to be scared every once in a while, even for a Jedi.” 

Kanan sighs. “Fear leads to the dark side.” The words are muffled against Hera’s stomach, but he can practically feel the echo of Master Yoda’s voice all the same. What would the Council think of him now, he wonders?

“Yes, yes, you’ve told me before.” she says, laughing again. “But you’re still a person. And the fear will pass, you know it will. The storm will let up soon, and you know nothing short of an asteroid crashing down on us is strong enough to get through the hull of my ship.”

He chuckles, in spite of himself. “The Ghost is pretty tough.” 

The hand that was carding through his hair moves to rub circles against his back. “You’re safe. You’ve got a roof over your head this time.” 

The words wash over him like a balm, but he can’t help the low whimper that escapes him as the thunder sounds again. “I love you. So much,” he mumbles.

“I know. I love you too.” 

They don’t move from that position for a couple hours. Part of him feels guilty for keeping her here when she probably has work to do, but the other part of him is so supremely grateful for her in this moment. She lets him sit there, curled up like a child until the storm lets up and the rain is little more than a low  _ patter _ against the hull. And she talks, about everyday mundane things in that voice he’s always loved from the beginning. He’s mostly silent, occasionally chiming in with a whispered joke or question, but mostly just listening to her voice. He thinks he might even drift off to sleep once or twice. 

Eventually, they make it off the floor and into their bed, where they pass the rest of the afternoon just basking in the other’s presence. It’s the most peaceful day Kanan’s had in a long time, and by the end of it, the storm is the furthest thing from his mind. 

They don’t talk about it again, but every time Hera deliberately avoids a planet or moon that has a stormy climate, every time she takes a detour to avoid a bad weather forecast, Kanan loves her a little bit more.


End file.
